11.09.2009

Tweets, Texts and Tablets: How Many Ways to Leave Your Lover?

Sometimes I feel nostalgic for the days when it was considered tremendously rude to break up with someone over the phone rather than in person.  Now there are so many routes to break it off that the line between acceptable and scorn-worthy always seem to be moving.

I think (hope?) that we can all still agree that breaking up over Twitter is downright cold, right?


It's kind of the modern day equivalent to breaking up with someone via the town crier.  "Hear ye, hear ye!  The Lady Jessica wishes to announce to Sir James that she has changed the locks on the door, and that he may collect his belongings at the signpost, where they are currently piled!"

Now that I think of it, if there is any historical accuracy to the HBO series, Rome, I can easily picture  such a scenario happening in that ancient place. But it was pretty much a huge free-for-all, what with all the big heaping servings of gratuitous violence and cruelty being doled out every episode (again, assuming historical accuracy, which is a big assumption).  I guess a mean-spirited public breakup would have fit right into that landscape.  Hmm, let's hope twitter breakups aren't a sign of our own civilization's nearing collapse.

In any case, I'm curious to know where most people draw the line these days.  Let's say you've been dating someone for 2 months and you want to break up.  Is it okay to do it in an email, or would they deserve a call in your book?   Do you think it should always be in person? What about after 6 months?  After 2 dates?  Any time when a text would be acceptable?  Is there any situation that would make you want to break up with them in public, like on Twitter?

How would you prefer to be broken-up with?  Has anyone ever crossed the line in breaking up with you?  There are no hard-and-fast rules here so I'm honestly curious.

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4 comments:

Jennifer Brindley said...

I was broken up with via phone, and I thought it was CRAP. I can't imagine someone dumping me over e-mail, facebook or Twitter. Even for the poor shmuck who dumped me on the phone, I drove to his house immediately to collect my stuff. He couldn't avoid me even if he tried. I'm just not down for that. To me it shows disrespect.

~J

Ask Angie said...

I think after two or three dates a "I'm just not that into you" email is fine. But once you hit that part of the relationship where you are assuming you'll spend your free time together, then it's time for a conversation.

Jen said...

If you've only been on a couple of dates and most of your contact has been through text that would be ok. I'm not sure that even counts as a breakup.

Bubbie said...

I so love your approach to break-up's. So practical and easy-to-follow advice. I'll pass your blog over to anyone who has a question that you can help them. Mine is really an open forum made up of common sense by people who have been there, done that. I wish all schooled professionals were as wonderful as you.